With Juventus.com announcing tickets going on sale last Wednesday for the new stadium’s home opener (September 8 vs. Notts County), I decided to click on “buy tickets now” to research what type of amenities the new stadium offers, even though there’s no way I could make it to the match. Here we go.
Since this is all fantasy on my part anyway, I figured why not splurge on the best super-expensive über-exclusive only-Amauri-could-afford-these VIP seats… Because that’s how I roll.
Incorporated in the new stadium design are Juventus Premium Club luxury boxes; exclusive areas named after Bianconeri heroes and include various amenities depending on price. For example:
- Sit in the best Tribuna seats nearest the pitch, centrally located behind the benches.
- Enjoy Zebina-free action in the comfort of luxury armchairs (though I can’t understand why anyone would sit during a football match).
- Full buffet at a reserved table on matchday, plus finger food during halftime. Which hopefully includes oranges.
- Personal monitor connected to your chair. Confirm for yourself if any of Quagliarella’s shots crossed the goal line.
Other areas, such as Club Agnelli, Club Boniperti, and Club Sivori are enclosed private areas overlooking the action with lounge chairs and big-screen TVs. They differ from one another by their location, types of food / drinks included, and the inclusion of a reserved parking space.
The cream of the crop of these private areas is the Sky Box, which are exclusive lounges overlooking the field from on high with plenty of room for your whole crew to will your team to victory. Amenities include:
- A special menu with a dedicated waiter, always in handy when you’re craving a good-luck Nutella sandwich just before kickoff.
- Full customization of Sky Box interior, enabling you to stock Nutella in case the stadium runs out.
- Access to the exclusive lounge area, where you can have your Nutella sandwiches under the nose of other envious guests.
- TWO reserved parking spaces, one for you and one for Iaquinta’s stand-by ambulance.
- 7-day-a-week access to the Sky Box, 8:00-20:00 with the possibility of additional hours and catering.
All of the above are awesome, but read the last one again…
“SEVEN-DAYS-A-WEEK ACCESS“!!! Which means that you could host corporate meetings, business interviews, conference calls, lunches, happy hours, poker games, bar mitzvahs, or your mom’s cousin’s former-roommate’s half-birthday in a LUXURY BOX ABOVE THE FIELD WHERE JUVENTUS PLAY.
That is glorious. We should all pool our money together and buy one. We owe it to ourselves (and to Juve) to make this happen.
And if anyone doubts the Sky Box is affordable, just ask yourself one question: “What Would Amauri Do?”